Grief Support Chai
Mullein (Verbascum thapsus)
Our grief is a portal, an opening, a passageway into honoring that which we love. Anyone who’s ever been grief-stricken can tell you that grief is an expression of love - the two are inseparable. Grief itself isn’t something to be cured or healed, it’s something to be in relationship with. And, still, sometimes it’s too much. The weight of it can bear down and become immobilizing, expressed as a state of deep nervous system activation, exhaustion, and chronic stress.
And sometimes the expression of grief isn’t enough. Our culture doesn’t give much space for grieving and the collective containers for slowing down enough to make space to feel, honor, and compost grief are lacking. Busyness is a trauma response and in this manifestation of grief overwhelm, our grief gets suppressed and held onto, eventually to the detriment to our health.
One place our grief can easily get stuck is the lungs, where it can manifest as frequent respiratory infections, shortness of breath, heaviness and/or pain in the chest, and chronic respiratory dryness. And the fall is a dry, windy season which makes our lungs even more susceptible to these imbalances. Lots of this wisdom comes to us from Traditional Chinese Medicine, which associates the autumn and the lungs with grief, and has long understood that emotions can affect us physically. And you don’t need to be an expert in this system to understand the connection. The lungs are the organ that governs our breath and allows us to take in the oxygen created by the plants, which feeds and fuels our body. And they’re an organ of release as well - exhaling carbon dioxide in a beautiful dance with the plants- the miracle of photosynthesis. When this exchange gets blocked by unexpressed grief that settles in the lungs, and manifests in the ways mentioned above, our capacity to fully take in nourishment becomes hindered, weakening our respiratory system, and, eventually, our overall health. When we express, acknowledge, and move our grief we’re making space for that which truly nourishes us on both a physical and emotional level.
This blend combines calming nervine herbs that have an affinity for the physical and emotional heart (rose, linden, hawthorn, cardamom), lung support herbs (linden, marshmallow, mullein, ginger, cardamom, cinnamon), and aromatic herbs categorized as “exhilarants” in herbal medicine (cardamom, cinnamon, rose), which lift the spirits and brighten the mood.
This is an intentionally versatile formula that is supportive along the entire spectrum and journey of grieving. In traditional cultures grieving is never done alone. It’s always a collective process and community ritual. Making and drinking this tea is a way to be in community with the plants and lean into their support during grief-stricken times. They hold us and our grief and we’re no longer doing it alone.
Hawthorn Berry (Crataegus spp)
A bit more on some of the herbs in this blend:
Mullein (Verbascum thapsus)- Mullein helps us digest and move through grief. The softness of their leaves reminds us to be soft with ourselves during tender times. And mullein helps nourish and support the lungs. It promotes expansiveness and openness in the lungs, helps us take deep belly breaths, softens and heals inflamed lung tissue and mucosa, and helps expel stuck phlegm (and emotions!) up and out
Rose (Rosa spp)- Rose is heart medicine supreme in all the ways. It’s a deeply relaxing nervine that calms and relaxes the heart space, lifts the mood, is helpful for heart-based stress that manifests as hypertension, racing heart, and anxiety, and relaxes the musculature, especially when grief gets stuck there. Rose is specific for those who have a hard time slowing down enough to be with their grief.
Hawthorn (Crataegus spp)- Hawthorn is an herb of the heart that helps us feel safe when we’re in a state of grief. It calms and nourishes both the physical and emotional heart and creates a safe space to move through and express grief.
Linden (Tilia cordata)- Linden is a sweet and moistening herb that soothes and protects the mucous membrane of our lungs, supporting respiratory health. Linden also eases the emotional pain of grief and feels like a big hug from a grandmother when you’re in need. The Latin name cordata comes from the Latin root word for heart, cor, and speaks to Linden’s heart-shaped leaves.
Marshmallow (Althea officinalis)- Marshmallow is a moistening herb full of soothing mucilage that coats and protects the mucosal layers of the body, including the lungs. A lung tonic extraordinaire, marshmallow also helps thin congestion, calms spasming coughs, and helps ease tightness and pain in the chest.
Cardamom, Ginger & Cinnamon- These medicinal spices are full of aromatics that promote circulation, movement, and metabolism throughout the body, on both an emotional and physical level. They are also mood-enhancing and lift the spirits.
Grief Support Chai
Ingredients:
1 c mullein leaves
1 c linden
½ c hawthorn leaf + flower and/or berry
½ c marshmallow root and/or leaf
½ c rose petals
¼ c cinnamon sticks or chips
¼ c cardamom pods, crushed
¼ c ginger root, dried
Crush the cardamom pods in a mortar and pestle
Combine the rest of the herbs with the cardamom in a bowl and mix well
Transfer to a glass jar and store out of direct light
To prepare, steep 1 heaping tbsp of the herbs with 1 cup of just-boiled water for at least 5-10 minutes, up to overnight
Strain and sweeten to taste with raw honey. Add milk of choice
Enjoy!
A simple & supportive ritual:
Gather dead, dropped autumn leaves of any kind. Building off what surfaced from the tea meditation and/or freewrite, using a stick, pencil, ballpoint pen, or even natural pigments write what needs to be composted and transmuted in simple one-word terms or short phrases onto the leaves and bury the leaves in the earth. You may also feel called to make art, do creative movements such as dance, drum, sing, or make music as a part of this ritual too, all of which would be perfect additions. To close the ritual, give gratitude and thanks to the earth for holding your grief and transforming it. Offer the land a bit of your tea in thanks. Your tears are offerings too.
xo
Jade
